MoonOverPittsburgh

Some tiny creature, mad with wrath,

Is coming nearer on the path.

--Edward Gorey

Name:
Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, U.S. Outlying Islands

Writer, lawyer, cyclist, rock climber, wanderer of dark residential streets, friend.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

[Untitled]

Capillary and dust
and a third ill-defined notion
bloodlessly vibrant like
a midnight thunderstorm.

Tongue thrust out like a leaf
slapped down by an invisible palm
and wanting, unreleased static
sizzles in its stem.

For a poet of moist particulars,
silica abstraction
yields insipid sophistry
and the taste of burnt wire.

With no on one to decipher
a telegraph in transit,
its caternary undulations
lead inexorably to ground.



[Author's note: The first stanza is always the hardest to substantially revise or cut when it contains the impetus for a poem that has wandered far afield of its promise, such as it is. There's a connection here between those first lines and the rest, which plainly cohere more closely with the first stanza excluded, but I don't know what it is or how to draw it out. As for the title, I want something that spells out S____ O___ S___, but nothing comes to mind. Gah, I've grown lazy even in this.]

Labels:

5 Comments:

Blogger Wide Lawns Subservient Worker said...

Moon, I am jealous. You are a better poet than I am. I have a poem due to be critiqued in a poetry workshop this very afternoon and I wish I could teleport you here to be my stand in.

Im so glad you're back. I found you while you were away and I thought maybe I had stumbled upon an abandoned blog. I kept checking back to see what happened to the tomato thief.

8:55 AM  
Anonymous May said...

That was a nice compliment.

9:44 AM  
Blogger Moon said...

Yeah, May beat me to it. Thanks WLSW for the kind words. Straight feedback is hard to come by in this medium.

10:48 AM  
Anonymous Larry Davis said...

I looked at this poem when it first came up; I thought ts eliot garlic and sapphires in the mud off of your opening line. from the 4 quartets. were you so inspired.

thelrd in TEXAS

10:16 PM  
Blogger Moon said...

i'd be a fool ever to deny eliot as an influence. it wasn't a conscious choice or a deliberate allusion, but i've long been enthralled with the quartets, so i wouldn't be surprised if that's got something to do with something. thanks for the observation.

11:58 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

eXTReMe Tracker