Some tiny creature, mad with wrath,

Is coming nearer on the path.

--Edward Gorey

Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, U.S. Outlying Islands

Writer, lawyer, cyclist, rock climber, wanderer of dark residential streets, friend.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Tony Pierce is Sanguine

Just read TP's latest post, and once again, he's hit on something true, while waiting for his new paramour (his discussions of whom have been riveting) amid her tardiness. Money quote:

fights happen when one person pretends a little more than he should that hes been wronged. that he deserves something better. that he has been damaged in some way. i havent been damaged. shes just late. thats all. just late. the wind doesnt complain that its cold. the rain doesnt argue with the palm tree.

Those of us prone to fight, prone to amplify small wrongs into cries of righteous indignation, all sanctimony and bullshit, would be wise to give some thought to Tony's observations.

What interests me most about this little vignette, however, is the conscious effort at restraint it betrays, the grinding out of morally and emotionally sound actions instead of their natural occurrence. This restraint, no matter how logical, is not the first response in the minefield of portents that marks the beginning of exciting relationships for people prone to overanalysis and introspection. Instead, so many of us are little more than plexi of exposed nerves in the early days of something new, especially those of us who are, as Tony likes to say, 111 years old, and who bear our long histories of miscommunications and missed connections on our shoulders.

It's the ingenuous sagacity of the post I like: the inclination to keep things simple and in perspective, to find a temperate place to abide the emotional storms that sometimes brew inside us for wholly illegitimate reasons, to resist our knee-jerk reflexes to perceive slights in the most inconsequential events, to step outside of ourselves.

Tony's on to something. The solution, on its face, is simple. The complexity comes in effecting it. Which has been difficult, is difficult, and probably always will be difficult. Enlightenment must be nice; until I achieve it, however, I'll settle for just keeping my promises to my self.


Blogger tony said...

you totally understood what i was trying to say. thank you! yes the first reaction is just that, a reaction. and it's usually angry and mean and loud. it is a conscious effort to remain calm. im so glad you got it.

6:34 PM  

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